As some of you know, my dad passed away last week. I pretty much disappeared from all social media for a handful of days while I flew back to Texas and his funeral. Here’s a shot of my dad, Bob, and my daughter about 15 years ago. It’s one of my all time favorites.
My dad was a traveling salesman so he was on the road much of the time as I was growing up. After a few months on the road, he’d come home for a couple of weeks to recharge before going out again. I remember how we used to gather around the telephone waiting for his call. My brother, sister and I used to get about a minute on the phone him before Mom took the receiver and passed it on to the next person.
With both my parents gone, I can’t help but feel as if someone took a pair of scissors and severed my connection to my hometown. Bob was an identical twin who fought in WWII. His 89 year old brother still lives in El Paso so I know I’ll be flying to Texas to visit and it’s that thread of my uncle (and many cousins) that still keeps me tethered to Texas and I’m glad.
Dad was quiet, but he had a fun sense of humor, almost as if he was just bidding his time until he could throw in a zinger. I think he enjoyed his jokes as much as anyone else because he’d laugh as loud as anyone after a punch line. He had a very distinct cackle that always made me laugh, so even if I didn’t think his jokes were funny, his laugh was contagious. One of my favorite Dad stories/jokes went something like this:
He was at a restaurant with friends and asked, “What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?”
The group at the table said, “What?”
He said, “Damn, if I know!”
To which I’m sure he laughed his signature cackle. Now if you think about that joke and what the punch line should be, you’ll know he missed it by THAT much. LOL. But I like his version better.
Bob, was a loving husband, father and brother. Everyone who knew him loved him and will miss him. I just keep telling myself that he’s found my mom after a seventeen year separation and they are together again.
Dad was big on finding coins. Everywhere. All the time. He used to walk with his head down and I doubt a week went by without him finding change on the ground. Well… walking in the airport toward my flight back to California, I looked down and found a shiny penny and I knew my dad was watching over me. I’ll admit that penny had me bursting into tears because I felt it was a sign from him that he’s okay, back to his normal self before Alzheimer’s stole his memories.
As much as I’ll miss him, I’m glad he’s not suffering anymore and I’m keeping his memories safe in my heart.
Love you, Dad. Give Mom a kiss and hug for me.
Wow.
Our Dads sound a lot alike. Sweet tribute. Hang in there, it’s not an easy time.
My very best,
Hi Pamela,
Thanks. My condolences to you as well on your recent loss. My best to you as well and thank you again.
Hi Dee – Sending love to you and your family. So sorry to hear the sad news, but if you hold onto the good memories, the fun a and laughter and the love you shared, your father will always be with you. Your tribute was touching and sweet, as only a daughter could write, and had me in tears. I will give you a big hug when I see you next.
Love,
Charlene
Hi Charlene,
Thank you. I appreciate it. Now I’m crying. 🙂 Yes, definite hugs. Hopefully I’ll see you at the March LARA meeting. Thanks again…
Condolences on your loss, Deanne. You’ve created a lovely tribute to him with this post, and I’m sure he’s looking down, proud of the legacy he’s left behind in you and your family.
Even if they make you tear up right now, I hope you continue looking out for pennies from heaven. Eventually, they’ll make you smile.
Hi Sam,
Thank you. Yes, I’m always torn when I’m out and about. A woman is supposed to walk with her head held high, always looking to protect herself, but I still tend to look down as my dad used to do, looking for those silly coins. Haha. I think from now on, finding them is going to be a very different experience for me since I will be thinking of both my parents. But that’s a good thing. Thanks again!
It’s so sad, Deanne, and really there are no words. All I can say is I’m sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like he was a good man and will be missed. I know you will find healing in the memories of earlier times, before his frustrating illness, and hold them close to your heart. They’ll sustain you in the weeks and months ahead. Hugs, my friend.
Hi Robena,
Thank you. I am definitely trying to remember the good times, since the recent ones were rough. Thinking of him being with my mom helps the most. Thanks again! xoxo
Loved you blog and the memories of your dad.
Hi Lynne,
Thanks. He was a sweetie. Loved by all who knew him. 🙂
I wish I could have met him. He must have been an amazing man to have fathered a friend like you.
Aw…Kate,
How sweet are you? I wish you could’ve met him too. He was a sweetie. In fact, my mom thought of him as Sweet Bobby. I’m lucky I have an amazing friend in YOU! xoxo
Hugs Deanne. Having a penny turn up is a message of cheer from beyond. I can’t remember where I read that, but pennies do turn up for me at the most interesting moments. May your dad rest in peace.
Hi Carol,
I had a psychic tell me the same thing when my mom died. She said that feathers and pennies can be manipulated from beyond and if I ever see a penny or a feather, it’s a sign from my mom. I couldn’t help but think that the penny was my dad saying he’s okay. At least that what I’ll choose to believe. Thanks for the hugs and thoughts.
I got goose bumps. Your dad sounds like an incredible man. I know he and your mom were good parents because I know you and you are fabulous. Big hug.
Hi Maria,
Aw… you made me all teary. Thanks for the hug and the sweet words. They were good people. I miss them a lot.
Again, I’m so sorry for your loss, Dee. And oh my gosh, I got chills when I read that you found a penny. Your dad will always be with you. And I second what so many have said, he’s looking down and grinning from ear to ear with pride. *hugs*
Hi Robin,
Thank you. I think he’s looking down and grinning too. I can’t help but think he’s of whole mind and spirit wherever he is. Early on when I first started writing and he realized I was serious about it, he sent me a magazine ad for Harlequin books… as sort of inspiration, I think. He never realized that I ever sold my books because by the time it happened, the disease was too far gone. But he knows now, so I’m good with that. Thanks for all your notes and the FB contest. Love ya… 🙂
Dee J.,
What a wonderful way to remember your father. Thanks for sharing with us. When you spoke about all of you kids sitting around the phone, I had that picture in my head. Did you have that mustard yellow rotary phone that would yank you back if you walked more than two feet?
Hi JL,
Thanks. The phone was a rotary, but I think it was blue. The cord was long so we didn’t get the pull back until we were half way across the kitchen. And wow, does that bring back memories! Wow, wow…
What a sweet tribute to your dad, Dee J. I’m sure he’s in heaven smiling down on you for it.
Hugs,
Leigh
Hi Leigh,
Thank you. I think he probably is smiling…mainly because he’s with my mom again. I’m good with that. Either way he’ at peace where he is. He deserves peace. Thanks for the hugs. xoxo
Absolutely touching words about your father. He clearly did a fine job raising and caring for his family. I truly believe he was with you when you decided to look down and see the coin on the ground. That’s the magic and beauty of love; it abides no natural law. Know that he is always by your side, continuously protecting. Blessed thoughts for you and your family during this time.
Hi Tricia,
Thank you. I agree. I feel his spirit with me. I’m still trying to process, but I realize it’s going to take time. I found a nickel today so I know my dad is still with me. And it’s fun that the coins are getting larger. 🙂