You Heard It Here: Communication?

Recently (in dealing with my daughter’s driving instructor), I’ve come to realize that some people just aren’t great communicators. They might mean well, but they can’t see or don’t notice when their words fall on deaf ears.

group_of_people

I tend to be an observer. I watch for people’s body language or the way they speak. I look for clues as to what might be happening in their head while they talk and move. I’ll admit, I’m astounded when other people can’t read a situation, especially one that’s as clear as the nose on their face. (Or hair on the head or any other analogy I can come up with!)

Granted, I have to take into account that everyone is different as are people’s experiences, but still, how clueless are some people? As I’ve discovered… Very.

I mean, do you really need to be a parent to realize if a teenager is listening to you or do you need x-ray vision to see if someone is having an anxiety attack in front of your eyes?

Maybe it’s because I’m an observer and I think everyone is. Most of the time (and I say most because everyone has a bad day–me included), I can tell when people are tuned in or tuned out (and I actually talk about that in my pitch workshop). I get a feel for the mood and either try to lighten it up accordingly or NOT lighten it up accordingly. (If that makes sense.) So sometimes I just want to shkaba (pronounced shkaba!) someone on the side of the head and say, “Yo, do you see what’s happening here?”

Okay, I think this ends my mini-rant. So what about you? Can you read a room or a person? Are you good at communicating or do you want to punch people that aren’t good at it? I’m curious to know.

Comments

You Heard It Here: Communication? — 12 Comments

  1. My struggle is I’ve always doubted my readings… For lack of a better word- more coffee is needed.
    I’m an observer too but I also get a feel for something. It might be the subtle clues fortune tellers use but I usually know when someone is lying or doesn’t want to be somewhere. And like you it astounds me when someone us clueless to all the under currents and tells. She batted her eyes, flipped her hair, invaded your space and touched you twice! Dude she’s flirting! 😉
    that said I really need to work on slowing down. I tend to speak when I think I know what someone is saying… Not when they finish speaking. So annoying!

    • Hi Shawna,
      OMG! I sometimes do the same thing… Say something when I think I know what someone is going to say! Then I find out I’m totally wrong! Ugh! I’ve tried to get better at that. The last time it happened, I completely embarrassed myself! My motto is now: Keep my mouth closed until I’m sure of what I’m saying. The trick is to live by the motto. LOL. Thanks for stopping in!

      • I must confess – I am GUILTY of this!I just hope I don’t do it with you, Dee!! If I ever do, you have my permission to just “shkaba” me up side the head!

        • Hi Julie,
          LOL. You’re funny. I would never “shkaba” you! I’ve never noticed it with you either. I’ll have to pay more attention in the future. Thanks for coming by!

  2. I’d like to think I’m good at reading people, but I think I give myself too much credit. ha ha
    I have a tendency to be on task and barrel through stuff clueless how other’s are reacting. Later, I add things up and figure out what went on. So I guess I’m a delayed body language reader. ?
    I do like to think I could always tune in to my kids, though. I always knew when things weren’t “right”.

    • Hi Lynne,
      I think I see a pattern here with a few of us who plow through things. Yeah, I like to think I can read my daughter. She always says, “Mom, you know me so well.” So I guess I’m right with her most of the time. Thanks for stopping in!

  3. I think I’m intuitive. I’m good at reading body language, fairly perceptive of mood, which gives me some insight into what is going on with them. But I no longer try to second-guess what another person is actually thinking because that road leads to confusion. We can never get inside another persons head, it’s hard enough for me to get into my own and filter my own thoughts. Ha ha.

    • Hi Robena,
      Yeah, this is what I’m coming to learn. As much as I want to think I might be on someone’s wave length, I’ve realized I’m probably not. I guess time and experience are good teachers. And of course paying attention to the lessons helps. Thanks for dropping in!

  4. I think I can relate to how Robena handles it. I have always been observer but also cautious–sometimes to a fault. I want to have time to think before I respond and dread sticking foot in mouth. Stick and stones may be a saying but words can and do hurt–for longer than a cut or bruise too.
    Could be one reason I dislike the phone so much. No body language and instant reply required…lol. Sometime I think I am the only person left in the developed world without a smart phone–and surviving quite nicely sans texting.
    Happy Mothers Day Dee 🙂

    • Hi Christine,
      Happy Mother’s Day to you too! I agree with you. Words can have a long time effect on people. They can be dangerous! I survived without a smart for a long time too… then I had a daughter who grew into a teenager and I HAD to get one to… um… communicate. LOL. Thanks for stopping in!

  5. A driving instructor who is poor at communication? Now that’s scary. I think I read people pretty well. However, I tend to overanalyze and contaminate my initial reading.

    • Hi J.L.
      Ha! Tell me about it! That’s what I thought? Very scary! I definitely analyze… It’s hard not too sometimes. Like I said, I think some people just have bad days sometimes, but other people… just oblivious, and that’s what fascinates me. Thanks for dropping by!